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38 Pretty Hilarious Quotes

38 Pretty Hilarious Quotes

This might be THE truest thing I've seen all day...

I'm working really hard for a graduate degree, but if the opportunity arises to become a housewife, I'm taking it. No joke

New life moto? :)

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Would depend on what (or who) the sweaty things are, though.

hahaha, yep, i'll be in mid-sentence and then realize that i have no clue what my thought process was....***ummm, what??** lol

"My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors." Cute AS a button.

36 Funny Quotes And Sayings.

36 Funny Quotes And Sayings.

She was pretty sure the whole room felt awkward. Then he did something completely unexpected to andie. He giggled. A cute little chuckle.

And we have a runner. Haha yes and my wallet...never can find that thing.

Excellent check list, but sorry about the runner. Sanity had to go.

i before e...except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige  foreign neighbor.

The English language. I gave up spelling things correctly.I guess teaching kids to sound things out has ruined my spelling ability lol

wish I could have that mentality, you implanted in my soul, how the fuck do I get you out!

Omg...this was my oldest son. I never could clean his room when he was home. He would probably have a koniption if he saw it now.

Truth: "Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing away anything, EVER! I smuggle out broken crayons like a mexican drug lord. Too funny.