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Thor and Loki are asked to refrain from comparing Director Fury to their father, and subsequently are banned from using “By Fury’s eye!” as an exclamation of surprise.

memosfromfury

[SHIELD employees are discouraged from forming a band, and are not to use their paid time for band practice. ETA: ‘Nick Fury’s Missing Eye’ is not an appropriate band name. ETAA: ‘Nick Fury’s Missing.

oh yes, "Director Fury." I totally believe this document.

[Submitted by: askthedoctorfromgallifrey New policies to go in effect immediately: Bow ties are now cool, as are fezzes and stetsons. A dashing man with a bow tie flashing a what may seem like a blank piece of paper to many of you will be given full.

“Pimp Suit Purple” is not an appropriate color for S.H.I.E.L.D. uniforms, regardless of whether Agent Barton approves of the idea.

“Pimp Suit Purple” is not an appropriate color for S. uniforms, regardless of whether Agent Barton approves of the idea.

Loki is reminded that the Chitauri sceptre no longer belongs to him, and that it should be returned immediately.     He is also obligated to return agent Barton to his former, uncompromised state once more. We can only rely on agent Romanoffs violence for so long.     Loki is reminded that agent Barton answers to me, and only me, no matter how much you Miss your little Hawk.

Loki is reminded that the Chitauri sceptre no longer belongs to him, and that it should be returned immediately. He is also obligated to return agent Barton to his former, uncompromised state once more. We can only rely on agent Romanoff’s violence.

An inverstigation has been launched to determine the culprit. In the meantime, Mr. Stark has been ordered to knock it off, on general principle.

Memo from the desk of Nick Fury re: Blacklisted Holidays.<<<<<Way to suck out all the fun, Fury! - From the Lab of Tony Stark

[Submitted by: kitfoxhawaii It should be noted by ALL PERSONNEL that any release of snakes on S.H.I.E.L.D. aircraft, specifically for the purpose of provoking me into saying a line from some film, will not be tolerated.  Release of any animal, be they domestic or wild, on any S.H.I.E.L.D. property is an express violation of rule CF14-9 section 2, and will not cause me to recite some ludicrous catchphrase. However, it may cause me to put my muthafucking boot up your muthafucking behind.]

Memos from Fury: ‘Stealth Cosmetology’ is forbidden, Jane & Darcy are giving free mani/pedis, and Dr. Foster, you better be able to get this indestructible nail polish you developed off. We have a Hulk.

S.H.I.E.L.D Personnel are reminded that the X-Men are visiting on this upcoming Monday. In light of this, we would like to set a few ground rules:

[Submitted by: whitedevilremy S.D Personnel are reminded that the X-Men are visiting on this upcoming Monday. In light of this, we would like to set a few ground rules:

Wait so you're telling me that's not how it ended!?!

Wait so you're telling me that's not how it ended

Submitted by RealmMan  Everyone is invited to meet Agent Coulson’s new team on Tuesday, September 24 at 2100 hours EST. Attendance isn’t mandatory, but I must point out that Loki-sitting duty for the rest of the year has not yet been assigned. See you there.

Submitted by RealmMan Everyone is invited to meet Agent Coulson’s new team on Tuesday, September 24 at 2100 hours EST. Attendance isn’t mandatory, but I must point out that Loki-sitting duty for the.

Shield's Got Talent

If you willingly offer yourself as Assistant to Loki as part of his magic act in the ‘SHIELD Got’s Talent’ show, any injuries will not be covered under the SHIELD Health Policy, as this comes under 'Flagrant Acts of Dumbassery’ clause which rules all.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #21:Thor takes his drinking challenges very seriously. [Submitted by herpyandassociateslegalfirm]

Recruit Survival Tip It is not a wise idea to get on Pepper Potts’s bad side. [Submitted by fangirlandproudofit]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #65:Refrain from giving Norse gods of Thunder coffee and Pop Tarts at the same time in generous amounts.  [Submitted by wanderseeing]

Recruit Survival Tip It is not wise to hug Loki. No matter how cute you somehow think he is being, we strongly advise against it. > Aww, but Loki needs hugs!I will always hug loki

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