[Submitted by: askthedoctorfromgallifrey New policies to go in effect immediately: Bow ties are now cool, as are fezzes and stetsons. A dashing man with a bow tie flashing a what may seem like a blank piece of paper to many of you will be given full.
Loki is reminded that the Chitauri sceptre no longer belongs to him, and that it should be returned immediately. He is also obligated to return agent Barton to his former, uncompromised state once more. We can only rely on agent Romanoff’s violence.
Memos from Fury: ‘Stealth Cosmetology’ is forbidden, Jane & Darcy are giving free mani/pedis, and Dr. Foster, you better be able to get this indestructible nail polish you developed off. We have a Hulk.
If you willingly offer yourself as Assistant to Loki as part of his magic act in the ‘SHIELD Got’s Talent’ show, any injuries will not be covered under the SHIELD Health Policy, as this comes under 'Flagrant Acts of Dumbassery’ clause which rules all.