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Thor and Loki are asked to refrain from comparing Director Fury to their father, and subsequently are banned from using “By Fury’s eye!” as an exclamation of surprise.

[SHIELD employees are discouraged from forming a band, and are not to use their paid time for band practice. ETA: ‘Nick Fury’s Missing Eye’ is not an appropriate band name. ETAA: ‘Nick Fury’s Missing.

If Loki would please come and return their "sister" to her usual male state, it would be appreciated.

Loki is no longer allowed to 'gift' the Avengers with 'new costumes' for Halloween. In addition, if Loki would please come and return their "sister" to her usual male state it, would be appreciated.

Memos from Fury | All personnel are reminded that no one in their right mind volunteers for Loki sitting duty unless they have ulterior motives ...

All personnel are reminded that no one in their right mind volunteers for Loki-sitting duty unless they have ulterior motives. If you are approached by an agent offering to “give you a rest”, DO NOT ACCEPT. This makes three times that his lady friend.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #470: We all know Thor has a distinctive speech pattern. Do not imitate it. [Submitted by heavilyparaphrased]

Recruit Survival Tip It is not a good idea to ask Agent Hill to accompany you to the mall today or any day. [Submitted by morganaajones]

Love it but thats version before AAoU  I actually like Natasha and Bruce together  And i miss Pepperony

My headcannon of what would happen if The Avengers looked into the Mirror of Erised. ~by Callie Cornelius <== Ok the Thor one made me tear up

TAG IS BANNED SO YOU BETTER LISTEN TO FURY BITCHES AND DON'T PLAY TAG! *proceeds to play tag with Thor in front of Fury's office while flipping him off*

I would not want to play tag with the Avengers; I'll get maimed in the line of duty, not for their own amusement!

Whoever convinced Mr Stark and Hercules to hold a ‘who is the biggest stud’ competition based on past conquests is to be sentenced to a month of Loki and/or Deadpool sitting. The reasoning for this is because a reasonable debate changed when Mr Stark hacked into the Helicarrier’s systems and downloaded several dozen gigabytes worth of HD videos featuring his sexual escapades on the SHIELD bank account as evidence...

Whoever convinced Mr Stark and Hercules to hold a ‘who is the biggest stud’ competition based on past conquests is to be sentenced to a month of Loki and/or Deadpool sitting. The reasoning for this is because a reasonable debate changed when Mr Stark.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #341:Asking members of the Avengers to autograph memorabilia, photos, or personal items is acceptable. Asking members of the Avengers to autograph body parts or items of clothing that you are wearing at the time is a violation of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s sexual harassment policy. Asking director Fury to autograph anything is hazardous to your health. [Submitted by heavilyparaphrased]

Recruit Survival Tip Asking members of the Avengers to autograph memorabilia, photos, or personal items is acceptable. Asking members of the Avengers to autograph body parts or.

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