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More like preparing breakfast and lunch for 6 screaming toddlers, making sure they don't eat one another!  Joy of daycare

There should be a gameshow called 'Are You Smarter than a Sleep Deprived Mom' where you answer basic questions while making a sandwich for the screaming toddler attached to your leg.

Funny Family Ecard: If you are going to scream like that, you better be on fire with a stick in your eye.

My daughter doesn't do that shit. And parents that allow their kids to.well I will light you on fire and put a stick in your eye!

"Yeah I'd love to go shopping--DON'T LICK THAT-- when and where do ya wanna meet up? LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE-- oh i love that place--IF YOU TOUCH HER ONE MORE TIME!!!" Oh...so...true.

I can only imagine what my phone calls sound like to the other person. "Yeah I'd love to go shopping--DON'T LICK THAT-- when do ya wanna meet up?

Italian girl problems :/

Not really funny so much as it is true - My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to (be) fat.

The longer I stay in the shower, the longer I can pretend that the kids aren't fighting or destroying my house.

Funny Family Ecard: The longer I stay in the shower, the longer I can pretend that the kids aren't fighting or destroying my house.

Duct tape Kids = Silence ....... I'm Joking, they are locked in a shed.

Free and Funny Family Ecard: Duct tape + Kids = Silence . I'm Joking, they are locked in a shed

If you have a friend or family member with a toddler (especially a threenager) be extra nice to them.  They could very well be on the verge of a melt down.  They have, pint size, little shit stirre…

Honesty Mommy: Life with a toddler is a beautiful thing. And by beautiful thing, I mean it's a daily battle not to throw yourself into oncoming traffic.

Please excuse my social awkwardness. I stay at home with a toddler all day.

Funny Apology Ecard: Please excuse my social awkwardness. I stay at home with a toddler all day.

When you're a mom showering is like an Olympic sport: you leap over things to get in, you have fans calling your name and you're pressured to finis in record time.

Free and Funny Congratulations Ecard: When you're a mom showering is like an Olympic sport: you leap over things to get in, you have fans calling your name and you're pressu

Kids driving me crazy

First Time Mom & Dad: The Best of Som(ee) Parenting Cards--Wordless Wednesday and Hump Day Humor FTM Style)

Just in case I don't make it through this thing they call parenting, can I get my straight-jacket in pink?

Just in case I don't make it through this thing they call parenting, can I get my straight-jacket in pink? Make mine green, tyvm.) But not hospital sick-green.

this is me!  I start out with so much hope & ambition every single day & then it all just wears me down...lol...that's why we sleep!

How is it I can start out the day as Mary Poppins, only to end the day as Cruella Deville? ---and what about those days I *start out* as Cruella Deville?

Just when I think that my daughter inherited nothing from me, she trips over her own feet and slams into a wall. Then I say to myself, "Oh, there I am!" | Family Ecard

Oh my I so hope mine and Leon's little girl will never inherit these genes. Then on second thought it will be super fun to see it happen to someone else for once in my life lol ;

15 Must See E-Cards for Moms • Thinking Outside The Sandbox

15 Must See eCards for Moms

"Cleaning with children in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos" Parenting Humor Quotes

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