Borderline Personality Disorder - that second paragraph I definitely relate to, and the fear of rejection. Sometimes it's just easier to isolate instead of endless apologies that I know must be irritating and the stress of overthinking but I'm trying.
Sometimes I have no idea who the person staring back at me in the mirror is. I don't know who I am, my personality, some days I feel so fake because I'm pretending to be happy and making jokes. Other days I feel broken, and the rest I'm just numb.