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Funnier Than Thou: Before you start telling me what I did wrong. you should know that I don't care

all day everyday...

An entry from Sweet Serendipity

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: Everyone around me seems to be getting married and having babies, and I'm just sitting here like. I like wine and uninterrupted sleep.

Just yesterday, a kid informed me that I better start having kids soon or else I'll end up "Old, dried up, and infertile" lol. Now that my husband and I are approaching our second anniversary, people will not stop asking me about children. No, I don't have any. No, I don't want any right now. No, that doesn't make me a bad person. As I learned to say in Greensboro, "You do you, and Imma do me!"

For pregnant friends I know lol. and soon to be pregnant friends!

The run for your life challenge! Zombies accepted!

If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die. HAHAH My husband told me this yesterday. He yelled RUN SAVE YOURSELF and i looked back to see what we were running from first! He said running is your death trap uummm yup

Omg ..YES...I so need this. I got the workout thing down & I faithful do it ! Now eating healthy ..that's another story.

funny ecards don't need personal trainer need someone to slap unhealthy foods out of my hand

I keep meaning to get back to the place I donate money to every month, but that ice cream sure sounds good...

Just kidding I'm on my cupcake. Just kidding I hate cupcakes. Just kidding I live for cupcakes. Just kidding I live for veggies. Just kidding veggies make me sick. Just kidding millennials make me sick.

Anything you say will be used against you, in an argument, 11 months from now. Because I'm a woman, and we never forget anything. Ever.

Free and Funny Reminders Ecard: Anything you say will be used against you, in an argument, 11 months from now. Because I'm a woman, and we never forget anything. Ever.

There may be two sides to every story, but you're still a douche in both of them.

Free and Funny Breakup Ecard: There may be two sides to every story, but you're still a douche in both of them.

Bahaha

Funny Friendship Ecard: I don't care what you think of me. Unless you think I am awesome. In which case, you are right.

The many others...... People wonder why I gave my kids the names I did. I HATED my name growing up, there was always at least one other Jessica in my classes. There's only two other Keegan's, and no other Joanna's in the kids school!!!!

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I automatically dislike anyone with my name because it feels like a competition and let's be honest. You're not winning that.

http://www.lifehack.org/458233/100-inspirational-and-motivational-quotes-of-all-time-12-ap-pinterest-quotes?ref=pp

100 Inspirational and Motivational Quotes of All Time! (12)

I missed the memo that said we ladies are now expected not only to hold down jobs but also to knit, craft, and bake from scratch again all while having washboard abs.

Free and Funny Reminders Ecard: I missed the memo that said we ladies are now expected not only to hold down jobs but also to knit, craft, and bake from scratch again all while having washboard abs.

Whenever i start feeling spontaneous.... my husband reminds me of my bank acct.. poo no fun.

Whenever I start feeling spontaneous by bank account balance reminds me to calm the heck down - ecard meme - Humor me - Random funnies

Yes!

LOL ok i dont drink anymore and now i know my juddgment was always a bit skewed but this shit is too funny not to share. i def thought I had the answers and the no care attitude when i was buzzed

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