"Last week I was elated to find a six-pack of Sharpies at the local dollar store. What a deal, right? Today, a closer look revealed that I had actually purchased one of Sharpie's retarded siblings: Skerple.
I like to see the good side in a bad situation. Whenever I run into a spiderweb I just pretend I crossed the finish line for a race I didn't know I entered. Hard to throw up from fear when you're too busy being a fucking champion.