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LMAO It's happened to me! That awkward moment when you're walking down the stairs and think there's another step and you Hulk stomp the ground.

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Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead. Haha thus the reason I rarely drink orange juice I about died!

That's a sock full of nickels. Not sure what nickles are. I think I know who needs that sock full of nickels.

My family says I'm like this. *rolls eyes*

My family has been known to play board games until someone cries. :-P // If you're not prepared to lose every friend you have over a board game, you're not playing hard enough.

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Mombie® Defined shirt (crew neck) Charcoal

Happy mothers day images for mum from son and daughter! Here the picture says mombie!

Word by Bella.Calavera

so true. "For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Here's an update for you. Nowadays, of women are against marriage, why? because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

My autocorrect lost all faith in me long ago

That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like, "I've got nothing man" story of my life

Hurry hurry!

People who hold the door open for you when you're still 20 yards away, forcing you into an awkward jog of gratitude. Hate this shit

Life

The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant. - so true!

Haha i am definitely going to do this haha #funny#quote

next time you go on a roller coaster take some spare bolts with you. Oh I would sooooo love to do this! If only I got on roller coasters!

Sounds about right, lol

I would like to think I will die a heroic death but it's more likely I'll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting. [substitute "peanut butter" for frosting!

NAPPERS BEWARE

Naps are tricky. if I wake up unaware of the year, I just go back to sleep and wake up refreshed later.

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