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I think it's weird how somedays I feel skinny and somedays I feel like a busted can biscuits.

I think it's weird how somedays I feel skinny and somedays I feel like a busted can biscuits.

Unless you fell off the treadmill  and smacked your face,  no one wants to hear  about your workout.

Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Apparently, your being an asshole is what got you bitch-slapped. Go figure.

Apparently, your being an asshole is what got you bitch-slapped. Go figure.

Which is why we’ve ALWAYS got it. #clearance #ShoeLover #quote

Which is why we’ve ALWAYS got it. #clearance #ShoeLover #quote

And a washer, dryer, dishwasher, nanny, and happiness:)

And a washer, dryer, dishwasher, nanny, and happiness:)

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

too true.

The Funniest Someecards Of The Week (PICTURES)

too true.

You ask your husband to do the dishes, he suddenly has to poop..Hahahaha!

You ask your husband to do the dishes, he suddenly has to poop..Hahahaha!

ha! ever have one of these days? we say opt for confidence (and body fat) as the best measures of your health!

ha! ever have one of these days? we say opt for confidence (and body fat) as the best measures of your health!

I hate when I put food in the microwave & it starts makin explosive noises so I check and it's cold, like why you gotta play me like that.

I hate when I put food in the microwave & it starts makin explosive noises so I check and it's cold, like why you gotta play me like that.

Every time!!

Every time!!

Funny Friendship Ecard: Don't worry, I know what I'm doing....I saw this on Pinterest.

Funny Friendship Ecard: Don't worry, I know what I'm doing....I saw this on Pinterest.

Lol

Lol

I'm sorry I haven't called lately.  I've been busy.  And by busy I mean binge watching Netflix and browsing Pinterest.

I'm sorry I haven't called lately. I've been busy. And by busy I mean binge watching Netflix and browsing Pinterest.

Top 50 Funniest Jokes and Humor Quotes #Jokes #Humor #Hilarious | Quotes and Humor

Top 50 Funniest Jokes and Humor Quotes #Jokes #Humor #Hilarious

Top 50 Funniest Jokes and Humor Quotes #Jokes #Humor #Hilarious | Quotes and Humor