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Crude, But hilarious lol

I wear heels bigger than your dick funny quotes girly quote girls heels funny quotes girl quotes haha

Guilty. Totally guilty

I don't pretend to be anything I am not. Except for sober, I 've pretended to be sober a few times.

And the list keeps growing...

i don't have a bucket list, but my fuckit list is a mile long

Welcome to 27. And, there's leftover beer, wine and liquor after a weekend.

except you throw in a baby shower at least once a month on top of it and the hangover thing.

Wellllll..... that's one way to put it

This makes me laugh so hard because I am a cranky cow today! Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow.

Sounds like the best boyfriend ever

why cant i find a guy who will do this for me. even when im off my period and am just having a bad day Page 62 - Relationships - Autocorrect Fails and Funny Text Messages - SmartphOWNED

Fuck if I ever work a desk believe there would be a pad of these

Lmao!!!! I Don't Know If All Vaginas Can Take A Pounding.. WHO AN I KIDDING YES THEY CAN!!

Why do people say ‘Grow some balls?’ Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. - Betty White this women is the image of bad ass.hell yeah grow a vagina!

K, my new code, lol! Happened at work today from a man with a Napoleon complex

Should make Rob smile. Deja Moo -- When You Know You've Experienced This Bullshit Before Apparel by Samuel Sheats on Redbubble. Maybe you've already dreamed of purchasing this shirt. If so, don't fight the cosmos!

I'm the grammarian about whom your mother warned you ; )

i do not understand closing threats