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You must be proud to have lost that much weight. And pull up your pants!

To the Window or Wall

To the window To the wall To the sweat drop down my balls To all these bitches crawl To all skeet skeet motherfucker All skeet skeet god damn To all skeet skeet motherfucker All skeet skeet god damn (GOT DAMN)

truly one of life's simple pleasures. I enjoy doing this. Especially in the spring when the pollen makes everything on my face itch!!

i dont usually wear makeup and I do usually rub my eyes. Therefore when I do wear makeup I still rub my eyes and then have to deal with the consequences.

shit never works

Lies!

Kraft has been making mac & cheese for how long now? Since 1937 (yep, I just Wikipedia'd it). that's plenty of time for them to invent a true easy-open box. You sit on a throne of lies!

Online dating ...

If Mommy is a nurse this is so true. If Mommy is a nurse this is so true. If Mommy is a nurse this is so true.

Laughed for 10 minutes straight... just cause its so cheesy

Funny when people go outta their way to get jalapeno business when they arent really apart of your life

Good to know-this will help me from freaking out!    Truth is... they Mayans made their calendars in cycles and when the calendar ended, it didn't mean they thought the world would end. It meant they thought there was going to be a spiritual rebirth/regeneration!

Funny pictures about Mayan calendar. Oh, and cool pics about Mayan calendar. Also, Mayan calendar photos.

best funny inspirational quotes

"Celery is water & not pizza.and this is why I can do without celery.

I changed my...

Funny Confession Ecard: I changed my car horn to gun shot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now. So funny

This is how I felt this whole week.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: That moment when you have so much shit to do, that you decide to take a nap instead.

hahaha story of my life thus far...

Remember camping and Aspen and Caitlin were like " we ran this morning" and I replied " well I ate a donut" same exact thing.

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