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No amount of alcohol makes 'Red Solo Cup' tolerable to listen to.

No amount of alcohol makes "Red Solo Cup" tolerable to listen to! I have never seen such truth be spoken!

Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap. Same calories, cleaner kitchen!

Funny Seasonal Ecard: Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap.

Funny Apology Ecard: I love you but, when you chew like a cow I just want to slap you in the face!

Loud chewing and/ or smacking is absolutely one of my biggest pet peeves.

Hahaha..Yeah right..Good thing I can properly see my bikini bottoms.. ^_"

Funny Seasonal Ecard: If you can't see the front of your bikini bottoms you should probably wear a one piece.

Please. - Click image to find more hot Pinterest pins

Dear men who are smart, hot, awesome and madly in love with me: Please start existing. Seriously, where are you hiding?

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest wall.

Funny Confession Ecard: The awkward moment when you bite your lip in hopes your boyfriend will go into Christian Grey mode on you.

Just Kidding. LOL

Funny Confession Ecard: After exercising I always eat a pizza. just kidding. I don't exercise. You love pizza and BakerStone loves you.

OMG..bahahahah

I am grumpy...want to see something funny! - Page 2

I love it when I do something and my kid goes "ewwwwww mommy". Um child - I pushed you out of my vagina covered with all my insides. You are "eww".

My husband would so agree

everytime I go, I get the 1 thing I DID need and a whole wallet full of random stuff.

So VERY VERY True!

I have this super power. I knew I was a super hero. " Common sense is so rare these days it should be classified as a super power.

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