If I close my eyes, I am sitting on the edge of the sandbox, eating frozen blueberries. It's good. The woods around me are green and quiet, the sand damp from rain. My fingers are blue. My lips are blue and I think how beautiful I look with lipstick. I am eight, maybe nine. I don't know what a calorie is. A tangle of arms and legs and smooth skin. Feathery hair. I am eating blueberries out of a white bag and they are cold and sweet on my tongue. Life is good, I think.