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I looked up "insanity" in like 10 different dictionaries and none of them said anything like that. Neither did the DSM-4. But I'll keep looking. Maybe it's in the DSM-5!
Team Aqua Learns a Lesson
HAHAHA THIS XD
Who Needs HMs?
Dream team #1
I Know You're Listening
It's basically Pascal's Wager for the paranoid prankster.
Tic-Tac-Toe
The only winning move is to play, perfectly, waiting for your opponent to make a mistake.
Gravitational Waves
"That last LinkedIn request set a new record for the most energetic physical event ever observed. Maybe we should respond." "Nah."
Degrees
"Radians Fahrenheit or radians Celsius?" "Uh, sorry, gotta go!"
Toasts
Platonic solids for my real friends and real solids for my platonic friends!
Pipelines
In the future, every single pipeline will lead to the bowl of a giant blender, and we'll all just show up with a bucket each day to take our share of the resulting smoothie.
Corollary to Hofstadter's Law: Every minute you spend thinking about Hofstadter's Law is a minute you're NOT WORKING AND WILL NEVER FINISH! PAAAAAANIIIIIIC!
Captain Speaking
Oh dang, you have to pay? Hey, has anyone else paid already? If so, can I borrow your phone for a sec?
Mycology
Conspiracy theory: There's no such thing as corn. Those fields you see are just the stalks of a fungus that's controlling our brains to make us want to spread it.
Singularity
I figured that now that society has collapsed, I wouldn't need to wear clothes anymore, but apparently that violates some weird rule of quantum gravity.